Give Me Love
by Ashleighxx
Summary: Inspired from the song by Ed Sheeran. I own nothing. Hope you all enjoy :)
1. Chapter 1

AU In which Nick doesn't kiss Jess at the end of 'Cooler' and she is still with Sam.

Set just after 'Chicago' episode as I still believe the emotions between the two still could be like that! Even as friends who have not kissed :)

Nick contemplates his life decisions and his feelings with Jess after his father passes away.

Contains some references to some episodes in S1 and S2.

I do not own anything unfortunately.

* * *

_Give me love like hers, 'cause lately I've been waking up alone, _

_Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt, Told you I'd let them go, _

_And that I'll fight my corner, Maybe tonight I'll call ya, _

_After my blood turns into alcohol, No I just wanna hold ya. _

_Give a little time to me, or burn this out, _

_We'll play hide and seek to turn this around, _

_And all I want is the taste that your lips allow, _

_My, my, my, my, oh give me love. _

Four letters. It all comes down to those same four sweet letters that swirl around his mind all the time. The same four letters that puts a smile on his face and cheers him up, yet send him into deep concentration and frustration. Those damn four letters.

Jess.

Every time he wakes up from yet another dream of her, whether its another romantic or erotic dream of her he begins to think of his life. Of how he sucked at it badly. It doesn't matter what aspect of his life he thought about he failed every time; his education, his job prospects and his love life.

Nick didn't really know why he decided to drop out of law school. Maybe it was the pressure crashing down suffocating him or the stuck up rich kids who didn't have to work hard to pass because mummy and daddy can take care of them financially. What ever the reason that made him wake up one day and leave campus was still filling him with regret. That was until he met Julia. Being in a relationship with a lawyer; who never had time to give him. Seeing her stress over clients and being emotionally closed off made him think dropping out was a good idea. Nick knew for certain being a lawyer would not have made him happy at all.

But being a bartender makes Nick happy. He loves listening to stories from the patrons who he's served since dropping out of college, he loves working around alcohol and mixing drinks, he loves that he can talk to his friends that drop by for a drink and he loves that the job is easy and simple. What he doesn't love about being a bartender though is that he is just a bartender with no goals and prospects. No wonder his love life sucked. Who deserved to date and be in a relationship with just a broke bartender? Well defiantly not Caroline. Him just being a bartender was enough to destroy their relationship. The constant arguments and her putting him down for his job situation eventually crumbled their rocky relationship that he fought hard to keep. Angie accepted his job, but only because she had no reason to criticise him while she was a stripper. After all the crazy alcohol fuelled dating and he decided to open himself to the chance of a real relationship, she was the one to run. He wasn't in love with Angie, yet it still hurt him at the thought of losing that hope he could have been. So he drowned out the pain of his hopeless life and closed himself off again. Maybe he was destined to be alone.

Then why did Jess give him hope. Hope of love. Hope of being loved.

Was it the way in which he had to watch her be in a relationship with Sam?. Watch her go on dates and take care of the doctor and oozing love into the loft. No, Nick has been feeling this for way longer than Sam has been on the scene. It must have been the way she takes care of everyone. Making sure Winston has stocked up on light bulbs for his lamp; because he is not afraid of the dark or how she picks up Schmidt favorite moisturiser when on offer simply because she was already in the shop. It was defiantly the way she always took care of Nick. Even when he refuses her help and tells her to leave him alone, it is the constant unconditional care she gave to him especially made him believe in love. She always made his breakfast, 'accidently' put a few of his clothes in the wash with hers, reminded him to change his toothbrush and how she just jumped in and took care of him when his father passed away recently. She didn't have to come to Chicago with them. He told her many times but she refused to budge. She wanted to be there for him whether he liked it or not. Even stayed by his side and held his hand when he spoke the eulogy. But the look in her eyes when she held his eyes was full of love and it was this look she gave him a few times gave him hope. It was the same look she gave him when he decided to leave the loft to move in with Caroline. The same look as she said she would be okay without him, because of him. It was this look that made him want to jump out of his lonely bed and man up. Tell her how he feels. Make her his.

He has already admitted his feeling for her. First he thought it was attraction. He was getting over Caroline and this pretty brunette whirled her way into his life. But it wasn't long before the attraction went deeper. It was around the time he had his cancer scare that he accepted he had some feelings for his pretty roommate. He thought nothing of them, maybe a childish crush that will pass and he needed to date someone to distract him. It wasn't until he couldn't move out of the loft and start a new life with Caroline because the thought of not seeing Jess hurt. Really hurt. The thought of not being able to brush pass her and innocently touch her did he finally give in and truly admit that he was in love with her.

Then he remembers that Jess is with perfect doctor Sam. This is what stops him at first.

Once he has a few drinks he starts to get into the spiral of what ifs. What if they were meant to be together, what if the two of them had been playing the stupid game of relationship ping pong, what if she has the same feeling for him as he had for her, what if Sam was a distraction, What if she doesn't have any idea of how she meant to him and what if Jess wanted Nick to man up. Maybe he should throw caution to the wind and jump in the arena and fight against Sam. Take his chance at love. With Jess.

It was dangerous enough to have these thoughts after a few bottles, but what was worse is that he now starts to have these thoughts sober. Like now for instance. Just woke up stone, cold sober and alone.

This is the push that makes him go for it. Go and get Jess. The woman who he has not been able to push out of his mind and heart. The one person he has had a deep connection with. The one.

That same person who has just barged her way into the loft with CeCe giggling and chatting. Maybe if he could get her on her own and talk to her. Tell her how he feels and leave the ball in her court. It wouldn't be hard to separate her from CeCe, she has a sixth sense about stuff like this and has hinted a few times to Nick that she knows how much he likes Jess. At least she wasn't here with Sam.

With his mind made up he jumps out of bed and gets dressed. As he walks into the main living area he notices her first. Big bright blue eyes, long raven curls, sweet colourful dress. Always full of sunshine. He walks towards her smiling. A man on a mission and he stops dead in his tracks when he sees it. Smile fades and the 'turtle face' makes an appearance. CeCe turned to look at him and notices the hurt in his eyes before Jess turns to see him. He cant stop staring as his mind is jumbled and spinning. His heart breaking. He cant believe he built himself up to be knocked back down. He didn't realise he could be so wrong. He can hear noise coming from their direction yet he cant seem to look away from it. To look at her. He just turned around and walked out of the loft with the image burned into his mind. Another four letters swirl around his mind.

Ring.

An engagement ring. It was too late.

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Hi everyone, thought I would try and get this chapter up for you all to read before I go in to have my baby :)

Will update as soon as I can. In the mean time loving these updates and new stories. Xx


	2. Chapter 2

_Give me love like never before, 'cause lately I've been craving more,_

_And it's been a while but I still feel the same,_

_Maybe I should let you go,_

_Give a little time to me, or burn this out,_

_We'll play hide and seek to turn this around._

_And all I want is the taste that your lips allow,_

_My, my, my, my, Oh give me love._

He was pretty sure things with Jess and Sam wasn't that serious. They hadn't been together for that long, even considering their 'benefit' stage in the beginning. He hasn't even heard them exchange 'I love you'. Or had they? And he has been totally blind and oblivious to their relationship. Had he been too invested and intrigued by Jess herself that he have missed all the signs. Been too busy trying to deal with himself and his emotions. Trying not to touch her, sit too close, to kiss her. These things he has been craving to do.

He honestly thought she might feel the same way as he did. So many people had pointed out their weird friendship. Even thinking they were together. It was Paul who noticed it first but Nick thought nothing of it, after all he was only trying to protect Jess from another heartbreak. That's what friends do right? But then when he got with Julia, she always asked him what had happened between the two. Stating that they spend too much time together and she even complained about how Jess always done his laundry without question. But he brushed those comments away making clear to Julia that she probably does the same with the other guys, it's just who Jess is. It wasn't until Caroline was back one the scene did he realise maybe this thing they had could be more than one sided. It was right after their butt shaking argument when he went back into his bedroom did Caroline mention something about him and Jess. She simply said that they had passion. Passion that they never had in their relationship before and she hoped they would this time round, but when she told him Jess likes him he brushed her off. He told her she was seeing things. But when he broke up with Caroline and saw the look of relief and happiness on Jess' face when he came back did he start noticing her noticing him more. Walt also noticed and commented on how much grown up he has done since 'blue eyes' has entered his life. If he could have noticed this then surely when he passed away and Jess came to Chicago his mom would too. She did, of course. It wasn't until she saw Nick struggle with the eulogy and the calming effect Jess had over him did she know the pair shared this deep connection. So she told Nick that she's glad that he has someone to take care of him. All he could do was nod his head in a silent agreement.

He's been in love with Jess for over a year now and finally he decided to man up. And where did that get him? Knocked back down! Maybe he should give up. She's happy right? She has Sam, the doctor; who has money to spend on her and take her out on dates. He looks like he's emotionally stable. Unlike Nick. Jess really does have a good thing going on for Nick to ruin with his self loathing and doubts. If she wasn't truly happy with Sam then maybe he would tell her how much he has fallen for her. If she was happy Nick would have to give her up, move on and watch her get married. Maybe start a family. Even if he didn't like it.

Nick was in too much of a deep thought that he hadn't notice the roof door open and Jess walk towards him angry and confused.

* * *

What is wrong with him now? I know he has always remained a grumpy mystery to me but come on. He literally just walked out of his bedroom all happy and one look towards me and CeCe his smile vanishes. And then just storms out? Argh he makes me so angry sometimes. He obviously knows about me and Sam getting engaged. I saw him stare at the ring. I know it cant be about that, we are best friends right. He should be there congratulating me. Do I follow him? He has gone to the roof for sure. Since his father has passed he has been spending more time up there; his thinking spot. Maybe that's what this is all about. As I opened the door I notice him standing by the roofs edge looking down at his hands in deep concentration. He hasn't even noticed me yet like he usually does and this slightly angers me for some reason.

'Nick..'

'Look Jess, I just wanna be left on my own okay.'

'Please tell me what's wrong Nick, like I said before, I'm here for you. No matter what.'

I place my hand over his to try and calm him down and to reassure him. He looks down at our joined hands and I can see sadness and pain in his eyes. I need to know if he's fine. He just needs to open up to me.

'So... Me and Sam are'

'I know' Nick interrupts.

* * *

I need to get away. Why does she always follow me for? I just need to go, before I say something stupid. I start to walk away and make my way down to the loft. I know Jess is hot on my heels but I need to get away from her. I make my way into the loft and noticed the arrival of Schmidt and Winston, who were sat on the couch with CeCe. I'm so close to my door when she grabs my arm to stop me. Her hand is so soft and warm and I can feel the electricity pulse through my veins from her contact.

'What the hell Nick? Where are you going?'

'I told you I need to be alone, just...'

I look from her hand which is still gripped around my forearm to her eyes. My mind goes blank as I stare at her.

'Your happy right Jess?'

'Of course I'm not happy. Your upset and you wont let me in! Your running away like you always do. It upsets me to know that you don't trust me.'

'I, umm. I meant with Sam. He makes you happy right?'

'Umm yeah Nick of course. Why?'

'And you..'

'And I what?'

'You know. You love him?'

I know this is gonna break my heart but I need to hear her say it. Say she loves Sam. I need her to break my heart fully in order for me to move on. She needs to, as much as I don't want to hear it.

'Nick? What?'

'Do you love Sam? Are you in love with him?'

She just stands there staring at me confused. I look back down at her hand to the ring that's placed on her dainty finger. It looks huge and completely wrong. One massive diamond. It is defiantly the kind of ring you shouldn't get Jess. She deserves better. Subconsciously I grab her hand and play with her engagement ring.

**A/N Sorry for taking my time a bit on this update. New baby alert :) and my brain gone squishy trying to get it written down from what I had in mind. Hope you enjoy! Feedback welcome, helps me know if you want me to continue or not. **


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